Our culture directly associates Godly obedience with success, and consequently we associate failure with disobedience.
If I have been obedient, why did my company fail. Why did I fail? Was I fully obedient? Perhaps God does not view failure the same way that we do here on Earth.
I have prayed for 6 years that God would transform me into the man, husband, father, and leader that He wants me to become.
If my business had been successful, and I had become wealthy then I would have become self-reliant. I would not have needed God to intervene in my daily activities.
He is far more concerned with my character and my relationship with Him than the size of my checkbook balance or my influence here on Earth.
While I was going through the trial, many around me assumed that I must have been disobedient since my business failed so miserably. I was told to "go get a job," but I continued to follow the Lord each day.
During those difficult times, food arrived miraculously. Checks came mysteriously. Work that funded our necessities flowed regularly. Our family pulled closer together, and we became totally dependent on Him for our daily needs. He never failed us.
My heart has been changed, my character has been molded, and my relationship with Him has been strengthened through the pain of my failures. I believe that none of these changes would have happened if my first business attempts had been instantly successful.
When I felt directed by the Lord to get a job, He directed my paths and led me to an organization where I was needed. He sent me to a place where He could use me to make a difference.
Looking back on the past 6 years, I do believe that I was obedient throughout the entire process. I believe that He wanted to strip me down to bare metal before building me back up again. I have come to learn that God views success and failure differently than I do.
As I continue to heal from the pain of failure, I can start to see that God has answered my prayer and given me my heart's desire. I am becoming the man, husband, father, and leader that He created me to be.
My obedience has resulted in a successful transformation that did not happen in the way I imagined, but He is still God and I am forever changed.
